Recently, I went on a weekend retreat with twelve African American men, ages sixty and over, who by any measure would be perceived as successful in their professional careers and personal lives. This was the group’s second annual retreat. And as in ourfirst gathering, I led a group meditation and discussion on Sunday morning for this inter-denominational assembly of Christians, Muslims, and those of a personal faith.
The focus of our discussion was on whether family members who “pass over” continue to have a relationship with the living members of their families; that is, after death. At the start of our retreat, I had given everyone a one-page handout describing how Africans, in general, viewed their relationship with their ancestors. I asked them to read the piece before Sunday and think about the four questions included on the handout narrative, below:
African Ancestors’ Relationship with the Living
[African] ancestors are related to the living community in a way that cannot be claimed for Deity or divinities who are definitely of a different order. The ancestors are regarded still as heads and parts of the families or communities to which they belonged while they were living human beings; for what happened in consequence of the phenomenon called death was only that the family life of this earth has been extended into the after-life or super sensible world. The ancestors remain, therefore, spiritual superintendents of family affairs and continue to bear their titles of relationship like “father” or “mother.”[1]
The ancestors are factors of cohesion in African society capable of helping or hindering their folk that remain among the living. [E. Bdaji] Idowa suggests that “what Africans are trying to express is that the genius of the family never dies” and that this genius “keeps manifesting itself in unbroken sequences in offspring” (188) from one generation to the next. Thus the ancestors are venerated and honored by their kindredties on earth not as lesser gods or deities, but as once-human beings who in their livingdemonstrated that they were good role models because they reflected the commoncharacter of their ancestors. As once-human beings, those who became ancestors werepeople of good character who exemplified in their living the best of what their ancestorsrequire of the living. While living members of families-in-community, these soon-to-be-ancestors were respected and honored as keepers of their people’s religious faith and traditions. They were the protectors and preservers of their African cultural heritage,and they were able, by their example, to pass on their knowledge and wisdom to the generations that followed them.[2]
The group’s Sunday conversation about ancestors was framed around the following fourquestions:
- In embracing an Afro-centric worldview, how do you relate to the African belief in the role of ancestors and their relationship with the living?
- If you are a Christian, a Muslim or embrace a personal faith, how does your religion or faith inform your thinking about the validity of the African worldview of ancestors and their relationship with the living?
- Do you think that when we as African-Americans “pass over,” we are prepared to assume the role of ancestor and are we able to influence the living in our families?
- If as elders we sought to re-norm the veneration of our ancestors, what might that look like?
What was most surprising about the group’s discussion on whether our immediate ancestors influenced the living was the common experience shared by all the men. Everyone present recalled their own personal experience with someone in their family– a father, a mother, a grandparent – who had communicated with them or a loved one after their death. These encounters with relatives did not seem out of the ordinary and occurred mostly in dreams, but not all of them. One member of the group confided that he felt his deceased father was around anytime he smelt the distinct aroma of the pipe tobacco his father always smoked; another elder shared a story about his young nephew who confided to him one night about his chance encounter with an Easter European women – in the restaurant where the nephew worked – who claimed that his deceased grandfather (the elder’s father) was visible to her and standing right infront of his grandson with a message. Relaying the message through the clairvoyant woman, the grandfather wanted his grandson to deliver a message to his own father – the grandfather’s son, “Tell your father that I am sorry.”
How extraordinary that we seldom talk about the influence our ancestors have upon the living. Why is that?
[1] Idowa, E. Bdaji. African Traditional Religion: A Definition, London: SCM Press Ltd, 1973, p.184, 188.
[2] Carter, Woody, Theology for a Violent Age: Religious Beliefs Crippling African American Youth, iuniverse, January 2011
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